No. This isn’t a video on how to win arguments in sales or how to have an answer for every objection. It’s a different type of turning your nos into yeses. It’s about turning your naysayers into your motivators.
We all have them. People in our lives who say we can’t make it happen. Who tell us it’s too difficult and the challenges are too great. The people who call themselves realists while we call ourselves optimists. They are the naysayers. The ones who say no.
I’ve had them.
My Motivators
I bought my first home when I was 19. M 26 year old friend told me that I could never do it because I was too young and it was too difficult. To this day, I truly believe part of the reason I pressed on, even when the purchase seemed impossible, was because of this comment. I turned his no into yes.
Within my first year of business, I had a close family member tell me that I could never run a photography business for profit and that I needed to be sure I kept my day job. Whenever I hit a milestone goal in my business – that’s the person I want to call. I turned his no into yes.
In college, I was discouraged to continue in my desired field because of perceived inability to teach by my professors. That very discouragement is what fired my soul to prove them wrong. I turned my professors nos into yeses.
Are You Going to Make it Happen?
This is the difference between people who make it happen and people who are afraid of it happening. Success has nothing to do with your circumstances, your life situations or the “cards you’re dealt”.
You’ve heard the saying, “Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it.” It’s true. What debilitates one person, motivates another.
Be Open To Constructive Criticism
I consider myself a person who can take constructive criticism pretty well. I’ve never been too personally attached to my work – so I can have someone tell me what’s wrong with it and I take what they have to tell me and try to get better. Rather than letting their criticism cripple me, it educates me and motivates me to be more.
I remember my very first print competition.
Three out of four prints merited. I received two judge’s choice awards and also received Idaho’s “Rookie of the Year” award for 2008. What a great way to start my professional journey!
When I took one of the judges aside and asked him what was wrong about the photograph that did NOT merit, he said to me, in the most non-diplomatic way possible, “That picture looks like your two-year-old could have taken it. There’s no way that THAT photograph and the others you took are from the same artist.” I laughed. And it was not nervous laughter. I appreciated his honesty and loved his candor.
When I asked him more detail about what he meant and he explained why he felt that way. I never once took this personally – I truly wanted to know how to get better.
It’s Not Personal
That very same conference, a long-standing professional photographer in the valley had entered into competition some of her prints. Picture a pregnant woman draped with flowy fabric and blue jeans highly processed finish of 2009.
She’d asked the same man about this print and he – again – was unapologetic in his candor and lack of diplomacy. She fired back, “That’s insane. This print made me a ton of money and you don’t know what you’re talking about.”
I don’t know about you, but I’d rather hear what others have to say, process it and then decide for myself if it’s worth taking into consideration.
We can glean a lot from others and if we continually believe we have it all together, we’re not going to learn. Instead of taking the criticism at face value, this woman decided it was not worth her time to hear what he had to say about the print and reacted defensively.
People Are Here to Mold You
PP
You definitely want to surround yourself with those who will support your achievements and encourage you to a better you, but you cannot avoid those who will try their hardest to bring you down. Rather than allowing them to deflate you, you have to choose to allow them to motivate you.
Go ahead, prove them wrong. Turn their nos into yeses and just watch what will happen. I think you’ll be surprised at how quickly you rise.