With race being at the forefront of many minds these days, I wanted to bring up something that has bothered me for a long time.
Hearing the “N” Word
I’ve always hated the “N” word. I hate it even more, now that I am the mother of three gorgeous bi-racial children and wife of a beautiful African man.
It’s the worst swear word I could ever hear. And unfortunately, the only times I’ve ever heard it, it’s been come from the mouths of African-American men.
The first time it really stood out to me was when we were visiting the Oregon Zoo last summer.
Now – because I live in Idaho, one of my favorite things about visiting larger cities is that we get to see a lot of diversity. We were walking behind an African American family and I wanted to be closer. I want my kids to see and experience families of all different colors, ideologies, cultures and lifestyles. I like for them to see families of people who look like their daddy. And I want them to see families who look like ours. But as we got closer, I heard the “N” word from one of the grown men.
I wanted to throw up.
If you know anything about me, you know my passion for racial equality. You know my love for people of all colors. You also know that I am an empath and that I feel DEEPLY for those around me.
I felt the pain of that word.
In no way am I saying that I can “relate” to that particular phrase. But the pain of having my bi-racial son hear anyone use that word broke my heart. I didn’t want him to hear it – and model it.
Unfortunately, the “N” word came up again this year. This time at school. From another African American Boy. He called my son the “N” word. Where did this young man learn to speak like this and why did he think it was an appropriate word to use?
Does that family at the Oregon Zoo and the young man in my son’s class know what kind of damage that word causes?
It’s a Damaging Divide
It continues to divide us as a nation. The word emphasizes our racial differences and subconsciously speaks of the horrific things that have happened historically around it. It brings up reminders of hate and rightfully gives us reasons to be angry.
But more personally, it makes the divide between my kids and your kids even bigger.
My Mocha Drop American Dream children don’t “get” to identify with either color – white or black. And if they do, they’re called ridiculous names by the opposite race they identify with most. If my son starts seeing you use the “N” word, he is going to think that he can say it as well. He’s not allowed to use that word in our family. And he can’t. He’s not black. But he’s not white, either.
Dear Friends of God’s tapestry, I love you – not in spite of, but because of our differences. Our colors should be celebrated and our differences recognized.
But whatever the color of your skin, please stop using the “N” word in front of my children.